Dan J’s Website

Everything he says about what it's like to be brought up male—the lack of connection with our own emotions, the devaluing¹ of femininity, both in ourselves and in women—it all strikes a chord with me.

Like in most other areas of my life, I've been privileged to come at the question of body weight without undue stress or anxiety: I'm male, and naturally skinny, so "lose weight" has never been a thing I felt the need to do.

Having good problems isn't the same as not having problems, however, and my problem has always been the opposite: I've always felt too skinny, not strong enough, and had the various other ailments that accompany that, like a rounded upper back (and generally bad posture)¹.

Lifting weights has a made a big difference to me, and this article explains why.

I have been in a healthy weight range all my life, and had this exact problem: I felt that I looked overweight, I hated how my body looked and more importantly felt like I didn’t understand why it did anything it did. I felt like if I ate even a little bit more than barely any food, I gained like three pounds each time. I only seemed to get fatter if I ate how much a normal person was supposed to, yet no one was about to help me with the weight loss I felt like I desperately needed to pursue.

Reverse all of the quantities in that statement (over with under, a little bit with a lot, fatter with thinner, loss with gain) and I could have written it.

My frustration was, even after I started lifting weights in university, I never really knew what I was doing. I eventually found a program² a few years ago which made the difference by being one of the few resources I've ever seen actually geared towards the skinny guy who wants to gain in a healthy way³. Quoting from the article again:

Lifting weights was a fit for me because it makes resting and recovering equally as important as training. It lays extremely bare for people like me, who struggle to grasp what my body even might be for other than “constant source of resentment," how it all works. Moving and feeling mobile, capable, and energetic is life-changing to me, and these feelings are supported by lifting and getting stronger; getting stronger is supported by eating and resting as well as actually lifting.

Once I had the experience of following a lifting program, with feedback, and measuring how many calories and macronutrients I was taking in, I could move my feelings about my body from vague "this sucks I hate it" to an experimental mindset: "uhoh, I've stopped gaining weight. Let me try adding another 250 calories to my diet."

Regardless of our feelings of inadequacy, we are all, by being human, inheritors of athletic potential. Put another way, we were built for strenuous exercise, and, for most of us, when we feel bad about how our bodies look and function, some combination of exercise and mental work (e.g. therapy) is the answer.

I always find Seth's posts insightful. And he posts so many of them, and they're so concise... that basically he's a walking example of why writing and publishing every day is the only way to get great at being a writer and a publisher.

This post captures so well why "just try harder not to make mistakes" is a dead end that I just want to quote all of it, but since that's not really how I want the web to work, just a couple highlights before you go read the rest (it's only 416 words):

It seems ridiculous that a surgeon needs to write her name (with a Sharpie) on the limb that she’s about to operate on, but this simple system adjustment means that errors involving working on the wrong limb will go to zero.

In school, we harangue kids to be more careful, and spend approximately zero time teaching them to build better systems instead. We ignore checklists and processes because we’ve been taught that they’re beneath us.

The ego that makes us think we're "above" simple systems for eliminating mistakes is as hardwired a part of our humanity as the imperfect memory.

Letting go of the one lets us solve for the other.

This is an excellent—and harrowing—look at the downsides that come with being well-known.

Various measures of "success" in today's world seem to bring some measure of fame along with them—insofar as you have to create content to get people's attention, for a lot of small creators especially, that attention is focused on you.

This quote (and the quotes it includes) sums up how I feel about fame:

During my college years, one of my dorm mate’s dads was a famous Hollywood producer. He once said to me, “You want everyone to know your name and no one to know your face.”

Taking it a step further, we could quote Bill Murray:

I always want to say to people who want to be rich and famous: ‘try being rich first.’ See if that doesn’t cover most of it. There’s not much downside to being rich, other than paying taxes and having your relatives ask you for money. But when you become famous, you end up with a 24-hour job. . . . The only good thing about fame is that I’ve gotten out of a couple of speeding tickets. I’ve gotten into a restaurant when I didn’t have a suit and tie on. That’s really about it.

Being rich would suit me fine. Being rich and famous would be obnoxious, as per Mr. Murray. The worst thing, reading Tim's article, would be being famous without being rich (emphasis mine):

If you don’t have your own ammo, [extortion] can be catastrophic. In other words, if you have more fame than resources, you paint yourself into a vulnerable corner. If you have fewer options and fewer allies, you’ll be attractive to predators.

You might think, "how likely is it that I would be famous at all?" But if you're building an audience on the internet in order to, for example, build an online business... well, this article will tell you about the inevitable downsides that come with an audience that climbs up beyond "tribe" size to "city" size.

I'm going to meditate on this one on the regular, as I try to build any sort of business or brand for myself.

A couple tactical notes:

• If you run an email list, using something like ConvertKit or Mailchimp, you have probably needed to provide an address; emails from mailing lists need to contain a postal address for the business as an anti-spam measure (I don't know the source of that specific requirement). Don't use your home address for this. Even if you have a tiny mailing list... all it takes is one unsavoury person signing up. Rent a P.O. Box, if at all possible, or some similar thing in your own jurisdiction.
• I've been meaning to get a "virtual" phone number (or more than one), and use it in places that require a phone number instead of my actual mobile. Again, if you catch any level of fame, this becomes far more important. You don't want your contact info logged somewhere that people from the internet can find it, and our existing institutions are notoriously bad at keeping personal info like this private. Best to keep your real information behind a smoke screen as much as possible.

In [a similar post][1] a couple months ago, I talked about taking an app I've had for a long time (OmniFocus, in that case) and "doubling down" on it—making it a more regular part of my daily life.

It occurred to me today that Instapaper is another such …

I've been wanting to take up gardening for a long time—in particular, growing some of the veggies I use in my everyday cooking. This is both a health thing, a sustainability thing... and just a nerd thing. There's a lot about the idea of growing crops that appeals to …

Patrick Rhone shared a link to his /reading page, where he posts short notes on all the books he reads. I saw this page, and immediately thought two things:

1. I love that! I should have a /reading page on my site
2. …It’s too bad the hyperlinks he provides to …

It's a stunning thought, to the point of vertigo, how much time and energy and sweat and blood we invest in a life we don't actually want.

[...]

It is no surprise that the people we admire took alternate paths.

Both Coulton and the sadly-defunct The Last Psychiatrist blog were essential inspirations for the extremely gradual path I've been taking from the life I somewhat-blindly entered after university to the life I actually want. I'm pinning—and sharing—this post as a reminder. ❤️

I love both of these, but I was particularly drawn by the one about anxiety, that being one of my things.

Anaïs Nin on Love, Hand-Lettered by Debbie Millman – Brain Pickings

"Anxiety is love's greatest killer. It creates the failures. It makes others feel as you might. When a drowning …

OmniFocus is one of these accessories for my 'aspirational' life. You know, I want to be this disciplined, highly-organized and productive person, and this tool should help me do that.

But really, I've owned a license to this app on both the Mac and iOS for years, and never really …

I have really mixed feelings about this massive article, which I'm bookmarking because I'm only part way through it.

The good: it's full of extremely tactical actions you can take right now, while you're reading it.

The bad: it's on Medium 😛; the writer is, um, rather pretentious and self-satisfied; the constant appeals to personal longevity are, I think, off the mark. If you're going to change a bunch of settings to reclaim your time and attention, a la Digital Minimalism, do it because it improves the quality of your life and your interactions with others and the world around you. The idea that you should set your wallpaper to a picture of your pet because there's some statistical correlation between looking at a dog and having 10% less chance to die of a heart attack (paraphrasing :P) is so... I don't know, it's kind of everything that makes me roll my eyes about the tech-yuppie-utopian-immortality set. Like, sure, do whatever you can to preserve your physical health, but maybe that could be lower on your list of priorities (i.e. choose quality over quantity).

Still. An article I want to refer back to. Probably.

It's obnoxious that this is even required—and who knows how effective it is to opt out of any of these companies. Are they trustworthy?—But it's worth taking a look, for the sake of your online hygiene.

I like Curtis's post about finding open alternatives to even excellent apps like Ulysses: in the longish run, I'd like to do the same. Bookmarking this for reference (and props).

I've had a tab for this 2014 Ars Technica article open for ages, let me collect the series here:

1. How to run your own e-mail server with your own domain, part 1
2. Taking e-mail back, part 2: Arming your server with Postfix and Dovecot
3. Taking e-mail back, part 3: Fortifying …

This is one of those things I find myself needing to do to keep my place tidy, and it's easy to let it slide if you don't know the process, and then the next thing you know you've had this stupid blue plastic bag lying in the corner of your entryway for months, and you don't realize it but it's slowly driving you mad.

So, better to just fold 'em up, put an elastic band around them, and put them in the closet:

1. Push the bottom in, like an "inverted taco"
2. Flatten the sides outward, so the bag, lying flat on its side, has a sort of "boat" shape
3. Fold the handles down onto the bag
4. Fold the sides of the bag over top of the handles, so the outline is now a rectangle
5. Fold one side over top the other, basically folding the rectangle in half
6. Now fold the handles at the top downwards, and then fold again, so you've folded it vertically in thirds
7. Now you've got the bag into a small rectangular shape; Put an elastic band around to keep it like that

(via youtube search)

This is an excellent episode. Tristan is eloquent about where the attention economy came from, and what we would need to do to counter its massive negative effects.

I got back into running recently, and am following this training guide, which basically starts you out mixing a little jogging with your walking, but steadily works its way up to running for one hour non-stop (after 13 weeks).

Slow and steady avoids injury, and all that. I need to combine it with plenty of stretching, though...

Also, in a depressing example of how fragile the web is, the link in that article to running form guidelines goes to a domain that no longer exists. 😒

Here's the Wayback Machine link: Benson's EPS - Basic Movements in Running

I've been making this dish on the regular. It's a little different from my usual slow-cooker chilli, and is great on rice, on a tortilla, or with tortilla chips.

Ingredients

• 2.5 lbs extra lean ground beef
• 1 cup minced onion¹
• 1 cup diced red bell peppers
• 3 cloves garlic, minced
• 1/4 cup minced cilantro
• 1 small tomato, diced
• 8 oz. can tomato sauce
• 1/4 cup alcaparrado, manzanilla olives, pimientos, capers, or green olives (I've been using castelvetrano—I love the colour, and they have a mild taste)
• 1.5 tsp ground cumin
• 1/4 tsp garlic powder
• 2 bay leaves
• salt and pep to taste, just like every other recipe in the universe

Instructions (this is how I do it: for the instructions as given, check the link)

1. Brown the meat in dutch oven over medium-high heat
2. Drain the meat (or not?), add onions, garlic, and bell peppers and cook another 3-4 minutes
3. Add tomato, cilantro, tomato sauce, 1.25 cups water, olives (plus some brine from the jar), then the spices
4. Put dutch oven in 350°F oven for 1-1.5 hours (I usually take out and stir after an hour, then give it another half hour or so)
5. Once it's ready, taste and add salt/pep/more spices as desired
6. Discard bay leaves and serve
7. Makes about 5-6 250g servings

I use, but don't really like, CloudApp to share files (mostly images). The desired solution is:

1. Drag a file to an icon or something
2. The file is uploaded somewhere that it can be linked to via URL (ideally at a domain I control)
3. The URL goes on my clipboard and I can easily share it

If you pay for CloudApp, it does work with your own domain... but I kind of dislike having a third-party service for this at all.

The link above is to an old article from 2012, so there are almost certainly better solutions for self-hosting a file-linking thingamabob, but I'm bookmarking this as a start.

Example that may be relevant to building my own static CMS (if you have a static site generator, you need some trigger to regenerate the site in response to a Micropub call, if you want to be able to update the site from a Micropub client).

(via Indieweb wiki on Micropub)